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REVIEW Å Hex By Thomas Olde Heuvelt

SUMMARY Hex By Thomas Olde Heuvelt

REVIEW Å Hex By Thomas Olde Heuvelt ã ❰Reading❯ ➶ Hex Author Thomas Olde Heuvelt – Whoever is born here is doomed to stay 'til death Whoever settles never leavesWelcome to Black Spring the seemingly picturesue Hudson Valley town haunted by the Black Rock Witch a 17th century woman w Whoever is bWhoever is born here is doomed to stay 'til death Whoever settles never leavesWelcome to Black Spring the seemingly picturesue Hudson Valley town haunted by the Black Rock Witch a th century woman whose eyes and mouth are sewn shut Muzzled she w. There are spoilers here in case you couldn't tell from how long the review is I mean I figure that's to be assumed But I'm going to hold your hand now and say there are spoilers hereApparently I also need a trigger warning for assholes with too much time on their hands If at any point while reading this review you find yourself frustrated with my opinion a lone rural librarian with absolutely no influence on the author's bank account or sense of self esteem and decide that your best course of action would be to leave a rude or incendiary comment don't My review isn't going to change because you think I'm a feminazi or an idiot or both If you disagree with me and want to leave an insightful or critically thought out response great But if you're just going to be rude about a review that has no impact on you or the author please go find something else to do with your time Maybe see a therapist about your anger issuesSweet baby jeebus I don't even know where to begin But here goesI don't usually give one star reviews to books because if a book is that bad I don't finish it But after bringing it up in a book club I'm in the other members asked me to finish so I could report back to them on how it endedThis is one of the most oddly misogynistic books I have ever read It's about a town Black Spring that is haunted by Katherine van Wyler KVW haunts Black Spring much like The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home from Welcome to Night Vale She doesn't do much and the townspeople try their best to ignore her She comes and goes maybe showing up in your house or in front of the church Whatever Just put a towel over her mutilated face so you don't have to look at her A little bit into the book we learn about KVW's past and how she was accused of being a witch back in the 1600s but before that one of her kids died and she supposedly brought him back from the dead But then both of her kids die and KVW gets tortured and hung I mean if that's not enough to haunt a town I don't know what is But even after all of that her spirit is tortured even further when people get the idea to sew her eyes and mouth closed Black Spring can't get rid of her so they shut her up Sigh moving forward Hex mostly follows the Grant family a successful DoctorHusband a Housey McHousewife and their two sons who are perfect There's a lot of rumination on family and ethics within the family dynamic For example DoctorHusband has a clear favorite son hint not the gay one This gets repetitive and tedious One of the other characters we follow is Butcher's Wife Even though Butcher is dead and Butcher's Wife does all of the work now she's still Butcher's Wife She's also fat and stupid and obsessed with KVW So for female characters we have the witch Housey McHousewife and Butcher's Wife Finally we have Robert Grim who doesn't have anything really meaningful to contribute to the narrative except to think about all of the women as potentially sexual objects even the one with the unattractively high forehead which gets mentioned a lot A lot of stuff happens in this book Teen boys are horrid little shits and they abuse the witch even further At one point one of the kids ties an Exacto knife to a stick and repeatedly stabs the witch in the boob And here we have to talk about boobs There is so much boob violence in this book that it made me wonder if the author has some kind of fetish Dead boobs living boobs giant boobs made out of a pile of small children in the town suare this book has all the boobs And the boobs are constantly being stabbed cut sueezed pinched poked and twisted It was sick It made me sick I mean there's one reference to biting off a dude's scrotum and then smashing his testicles but that was weird as fuck and didn't make up for the constant boob mangling And as for that giant boob made of children at the end I don't know I can't even I guess the witch gets all of the children and puts them in the town suare in the shape of a giant boob and then stands on top of the boob like a nipple and pours milk into all of the childrens' faces Except it might not be the witch The nipple on top of the giant boob made of children might be Butcher's Wife spewing pate out of her vagina all over the faces of the boob children What The Fuck I'm not making any of this up And this isn't me drawing weird comparisons either The author actually describes the mound of children as a breast with the witch as a weird nippleBut all of the weird boob mutilation is almost beside the point Because this book manages to be offensive even without the boob stuff Never mind that HusbandDoctor refers to his son's girlfriend as a pert little cutie Fucking gross This is a book about a witch who had every horror done to her at the hands of her peers So she haunts the town of their descendants And the descendants do further horrible things to her all the while screaming that she made them do it The witch has made everyone do terrible things to her and each other Everything from boob stabbing to stoning to fucking birthing globs of pate It's all the witch's fault In reality she doesn't do shit except be hideously sad over all of the other things people have done to her Rightly so Even the dog who she supposedly killed really committed suicide This book might as well have been called She Was Asking For It Her Chains and Sewed Up Face Were Just Too Sexy But Wait Why Am I Going to Jail Now I just I can't with this This was offensive and weird but not the good kind of weird I only hope that some of that not good weirdness was maybe lost in translation And the last 30 pages or so some things you can't unsee This book scared me for all of the wrong reasons If you liked it good on you If you still want to read it after this review god speed and good luck

Thomas Olde Heuvelt ´ 1 REVIEW

Alks the streets and enters your homes at will She stands next to your bed for nights on end Everybody knows that her eyes may never be openedThe elders of Black Spring have virtually uarantined the town by using high tech surveillance to preven. It's that time of year again When the leaves start turning and the air gets coolerwut I live in the south That crap ain't happening But I still wanted some scary readingI may have lost my ever loving mind BECAUSE the place where I work is probably haunted I'm about 978% sure it's haunted Then I pick up a creepy ass book to read After figuring out that I couldn't read this either before I went into work during work or when I was thinking about workI finally got a couple of days off and knew I had to binge this suckerOtherwise you guys would have seen me on the news Now if you are a friend of mine or have followed me for awhileyou know I read some jacked up stuff It takes a few drinks boogers to scare me The few times I've been scared while reading I usually just went to bed and covered up my head and was okay Then there have been a couple of movies that scared the bejeebus out of me The Stupid Grudge and the Stinking Ring are two that come to mindThis book reminds me of them It's set in a small town that kind of reminded me of that movieThe Village Once you live there you can't leave that movie didn't scared nothing by the way This one is that way because of the witch She has been there since the days of yore and the reason The people back in the day accused her of being a witch then proceeded to make her sacrifice one of her children Then to make it even better they killed her and sewed her eyes and mouth closedGirlie got pissed off and came back to town She wanders around town and just appears randomly She might be at your beside while you and the mister are doing the freaky deaky You just never know Unless you are tracking her on the mobile app These people have gone high tech They have cameras all over town and the before mentioned tracking app But this little town has rules You can't mention or film the witch You can't touch her You can't ever move out of town because the over whelming feeling of wanting to commit suicide comes over you I wondered several times why they just didn't blast her with dynamiteOr something But then reality starts to set in while you are reading this book These characters are bat shit crazy They are mean as snakes You have one father that is a main character who pretty much admits he has a favorite sonand it's not the gay one You have women constantly put downone was made fun of the whole entire book because she was fat Another had an abnormally high forehead that the author couldn't shut up aboutI started cheering for the witchI will admit to somewhat liking this book It is perfect for a Halloween read Not in your face gorejust that almost oppressive feeling of something bad coming I had to check my underwear several times


Hex By Thomas Olde HeuveT their curse from spreading Frustrated with being kept in lockdown the town's teenagers decide to break their strict regulations and go viral with the haunting but in so doing send the town spiraling into the dark medieval practices of the past. edit 030216 I'm having to up my stars on this one as every time I pass a dark corner I think of that bloody witch It obviously got to me than I thoughtHex starts off really well the creep factor was so high that reading it at half five in the afternoon felt far too close to bedtime for comfort For me it's not so much that it features a witch but that the witch acts like a ghost Who can turn up in your house at any time Awful Just awful Living in Black Rock is not fun a witch a curse no chance of leaving I liked the way that Heuvelt mixed the gothic and the modern within this setting The townspeople use modern tech to keep track of their witch and it is the allure of freedom through the means of modern communication and evidence that threatens the uncertain peace of the town And it also becomes clear that Katherine the witch is far from the only dark factor in the town Still I feel that the book would have been better served by keeping the original Dutch setting rather than transfereing it to an American town for the English translation Heuvelt does well to keep the tension and fear going throughout as the characters' suffering ratchets up to outright terror Yet the sheer relentlessness of it made me feel numb As and was revealed the less it scared me As always the suggestion of horror is frightening than the reality The writing was also a bit hit and miss maybe the author maybe the translator It's these few points that lessened the enjoyment for me and made me like it but not love itThanks to Thomas Olde Heuvelt Hodder Stoughton and Netgalley for this copy in exchange for an honest review